did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
