He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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