I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
