Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
