so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
