I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
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She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
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I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?