I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?