sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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