I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.