I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Couch. On fire.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
