I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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