Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Boobs are out for the taking
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
