and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
