Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
