Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go

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(573): View more from Missouri

Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?

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(503): View more from Oregon

He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning

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(917): View more from New York City

Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(352): View more from Florida

She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.

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(310): View more from California

I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE

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