just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
