we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
