When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.