okay pat passed out under dana's car
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.