Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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