He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
