soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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