At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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