I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
