i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
