so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
