roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's official drugs can't kill me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
