i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
