You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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