ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
