brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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