just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
