Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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