why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
