I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
