And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
