Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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