Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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