There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
