Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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