we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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