someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i just made my gag reflex go away.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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