like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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