..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
