And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
