I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
