i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize