i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
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[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
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Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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