maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
