where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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