Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Damn victory sex feels great