apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?