wrigley field is MILF paradise
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
