i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
