i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i think my cat just said my name.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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