You're completely useless in the revolution.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
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I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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