You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
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Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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