Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
