I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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