What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
