So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am spending my child support on dildos
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
