if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
