please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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