i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
