It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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