You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
