We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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