Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
