my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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