There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was born a porn star she said
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
