If that was your dad, he is hot
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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