Swine flu. Run for my life!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
