Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
