"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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