I am puke
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
